dressing to please - on not being a Norman soldier

When I was nine or ten, I wore a terrific fancy dress costume in the form of a Norman soldier.  My wonderful creative father created it, using a range of ordinary materials, including papier mache.  I wore it for a fancy dress contest in which I entered with my sister.  I was proud of it, particularly of how striking it was, and, above all, because of my father's outstanding skills.  Yet, for all that, I felt lost, betraying myself, and even entombed in it, As I looked at my sister's costume, another amazing creation of my father, I knew I so much wanted to be wearing that.  For hers was a fabulous Elizabeth 1 dress, with impressive mock velvet, a sumptuous skirt and puffed sleeves, and a charming collar, colours, and pleats.  I was so captivated, yet strangely not envious of my sister herself, and was hugely delighted when she won the contest.  For she looked even more gorgeous than she usually was, and that dress deserved its just reward.  But a little bit of me cried inside.  For all kinds of reasons, I'm constitutionally not cut out to be a Norman soldier.  I never was.  So it was a powerful symbol of my captivity...

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